


Complications - A Lams Story

by Lilluv



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, Cancer, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Hospital, M/M, Modern AU, Recreational Drug Use, cystic fibrosis, mentions of suicide and abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-18
Updated: 2019-07-19
Packaged: 2020-07-07 23:23:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 20
Words: 19,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19859731
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lilluv/pseuds/Lilluv
Summary: Alex has been in the hospital with liver cancer almost his entire life. John just contracted cystic fibrosis and is waiting for a lung transplant. What happens when they're in the same hospital at the same time.





	1. Cystic Fibrosis, Meet Liver Cancer

John's POV

I walked through the pediatric wing of St. Burr's Hospital and looked in all the rooms as I went. I knew the floor like the back of my hand.

I found my room, seventeen seventy-six, and opened the door. I went and flopped down on my bed, grabbing my oxygen mask and strapping it around my head.

"Hi, John." Nurse Eliza said, coming into my room. "How are you feeling?"

"My lung function is at 40 percent now, so that sucks." I frowned.

She gave me a pitiful smile, then she made a face as if she remembered something "There's a cute boy down the hall in room seventeen eighty-one." She suggested.

"Eliza, stop. You know I just broke up with Jake." I said.

"I'm just saying!" She threw her hands up like she was surrendering and walked out of the room.

I got up and decided to go see this boy.

 _Even though I'm not looking for a relationship, I sure am looking for a friend._ I thought to myself as I walked down the hall.

I found the door to his room open. I knocked, and he looked up.

 _Damn, he is cute._ I thought, blushing a deep shade of red.

"Hi...?" He said.

"Uh, hi. I'm John. My rooms down the hall." I explained.

"Alex." He said, getting up out of his bed and coming over to shake my hand.

"What are you in for?" I asked him.

"Mets on my liver." He answered simply.

"Cystic fibrosis. Awaiting lung transplant." I stated.

"Fun." He laughed.

"Yeah." I responded, looking around his room. Really the only things he had were a few stacks of books and a laptop.

"So, you like reading, huh?" I asked.

"Yeah, and writing. I'm trying to stay caught up on school work so I can graduate on time." He explained.

"You're a senior?" I questioned. He looked too small to be a senior, but I know that cancer can sometimes stunt people's growth.

"Oh, god no." He said. "I'm a junior."

 _Wow, a junior._ I thought to myself. _I'm only a freshman, though stupid CF has held me back._

"What about you?" He asked.

"I'm supposed to be a freshman, but I'm still doing eighth grade classes because I missed so much last year." I explained.

"Do you want to come in?" He asked, gesturing to a couch next to his bed.

"Sure." I said, and we sat down.

"When did you get diagnosed?" He asked.

"They found my CF when I was in seventh grade, and I was fine most of that year until my lung function plummeted after the first quarter of eighth grade. I've been in the hospital more often than not after that." I explained. "What about you?"

"I've had liver cancer since fourth grade, though I was in remission for most of middle school. It just keeps coming back." He told me.

I was starting at Alex's lips move as he talked, and his really gorgeous long black hair.

"You have really nice hair for a cancer patient." I blurted before I could stop myself.

"Thanks." He laughed. "I used one of those cold hats that lets me keep my hair when I get chemo."

"That's cool." I said, and there was a knock at the door.

"Alex, it's time for your chemo." Nurse Peggy said, walking in the room with a wheelchair. "And, John, it's time for your meds, too." She said, looking at her watch.

"Nice talking to you." He said, standing up.

"You, too. I'm in room seventeen seventy-six if you ever want to stop by." I said before getting up and walking back to my room for my meds.

XXX

Alex's POV

As Peggy brought me down to the peds chemo room, my mind went to John.

 _He's only a freshman._ I thought. _And there's also no way he's gay. But he's so cute. With those freckles, and that hair..._

"Alright, Alex. It's time." Peggy said, pulling me out of my head and showing me to a chair for my chemo treatment.

She strapped the ice pack on my head and put the IV chemo in my arm.

I felt the poison run through my arm and around my body through my bloodstream. It grossed me out and made me super nauseous every time I had a treatment.

I sat in the chair, miserable, for most of my treatment, until I felt it. I grabbed the basin in front of me and emptied my guts into it.

Nurse Angelica walked over to help me unhook the IV. I had learned over the years how to take things out of my own IV port, but it's protocol for the nurses to do it in the chemo room.

"Thanks, Angelica." I said, getting up and falling into the wheelchair next to me.

"No problem." She smiled weakly.

"Rough day?" I asked, looking back at her as she stated wheeling me back to my room.

"My husband an I had another fight." She sighed.

"Oh, I'm sorry." I consoled. "It will all work out in the end."

"I hope so." She replied.

As we turned a corner, I saw John at the nurse's station next to our rooms. He looked over at me and smiled, then laughed.

"Not to be rude or anything, since I know we just met, but you look like death." He laughed, walking over to me and following me into my room.

"Yeah, chemo does that to a person." I laughed.

I moved from the wheelchair to my bed and looked up at John. He was looking at the floor, shuffling his feet, and blushing. Hard.

 _This kid is hot._ I laughed to myself in my head. _But there's no way it'll ever work out. I just need to drop it._

"Um... I have... treatments..." John said, then ran out of the room and down the hall.


	2. The Hair, Face, and Eyes

John's POV

I sat in my room, watching Netflix, and thinking about Alex. About his hair... his face... his eyes...

 _No._ I thought to myself. _I'm not going down this spiral again. No._

Then, my mind went to Jake. He and I were together for a few months, through most of eight grade, until he "figured out" that he wasn't gay, so we broke up. The worst part was, I think I was in love with him.

Suddenly, a screech pulled me out my thoughts.

"Big bro!" My little sister, Alice, screamed while running in and jumping on my bed. My mom and Dr. Washington followed her into the room.

"Alice, your brother needs rest." Mom scolded.

"No, mom. It's fine. I've missed her." I assured my mom, pulling Alice into a tight hug.

My mom turned to Dr. Washington. "How's his lung function?" She asked, pulling a huge binder out of her even bigger purse. I swear she kept a better record of my treatments than the hospital did.

"Well, it's still at forty percent, so that's good." He said, coming over to me to check my IV.

My mom and Dr. Washington walked kept talking for a while, but I turned to Alice and whispered to her, "So, do you know what you want to do for your birthday party yet?" I liked to keep her distracted from all the medical talk. She didn't understand it, and it scared her.

Her little eyes lit up when I said that. She loves planning parties.

"I'm going to have a huge chocolate cake with pink frosting, and it's going to have a huge 4 on the front." She said excitedly,

XXX

My mom and Alice visited with me for a few hours, and I helped Alice finish planning her party. Once they left, Alex came to my room.

"Was that your mom and sister?" He asked, standing in the doorway.

"Yeah." I replied, the picture Alice drew for me in my hands. I held it up for him to see. He walked into the room and looked at it. Then he smiled.

"It's really cute." He laughed, looking at it. "What is it?"

"It's a butterfly, I think." I replied, turning it around and looking at it myself.

There was an awkward pause in the conversation for a few seconds before he said, "Do you have any other family?"

"No." I replied. "My dad left when he found out my mom was pregnant with Alice. He thought she cheated on him. You?"

"My mom died when I was 12, and my dad walked out on us before that. I've been bounced around the system since she died, but I got a job as soon as I turned sixteen to help with my medical bills." He explained.

"So we both have daddy issues, then, huh?" I laughed.

"I guess so." He smiled. He sat down on the couch behind him and started mindlessly fiddling with his hair, as though it was a habit.

"So... what's your favorite color?" I asked, and he laughed. I laughed too.

"What?" He laughed.

"Something needs to break the ice." I laughed.

"Blue. Navy." He answered, suppressing a laugh. "You?"

"Green, like a turtle." I said.

"Let me guess, your favorite animal is a turtle." He replied.

"How did you know?" I laughed.

We laughed and talked for hours until Eliza came into my room.

"Time for your meds, John. Oh, hi Alex." She said when she came in, holding a huge tray of meds.

"I... should probably go." Alex said, awkwardly getting up and leaving. I couldn't exactly tell, but it looked like he was blushing.

XXX

Alex's POV

As soon as Eliza came into the room with John's meds, I started blushing. Hard. He was smiling that cute smile of his. So I ran out of the room so that he wouldn't see me blushing.

I ran down the hall back to my room layed down on my bed, catching my breath.

 _Well, that was stupid..._ I thought to myself. _I probably shouldn't be running down hallways._

Then, my mind wandered back to John. To how the curls in his hair bounced when he laughed. To how the freckles on his face shifted when he smiled. To his chocolate brown eyes.

 _No._ I thought to myself. _I won't fantasize about another straight guy._

I tried to busy myself with other things. I watched YouTube, tried again to read _Ulysses,_ even though I knew that it was the most boring book in the history of the world, and even with my full attention on it I wouldn't be able to comprehend what I was reading. I finally decided to give up and pull up a word document on my laptop and started writing anything that came into my mind.

_John Laurens in room 1776 is probably the cutest CF patient I've ever seen. I haven't been able to keep my mind off him all day. The way his curls bounce, the way his freckles move, the way I can just get lost in those chocolate eyes of his... it captivates me. To the point where I can't even string words together into a sentence around him sometimes, and that's really saying something. He even joked with me after my chemo, which most people don't do. They just stare at me, trying to hide their pity. Maybe it's the grave illness thing. Who knows._

"Alex, dinner." Peggy said, bringing a cart into my room full of trays. I shut my laptop as soon as the door opened. No one needed to see what I just wrote.

"Thanks, Peggy." I said. "How's John?"

"Somebody have a crush?" She teased.

"No!" I denied too quickly. Peggy chucked.

"Ok, whatever you say, Alex."


	3. What Could've Been and What Is

Alex's POV

John and I had been talking and hanging out a lot over the past few weeks. A few weeks after that first day we met, he showed up at my door.

"What to go on an adventure?" He said, his oxygen cart in tow.

"Sure." I replied, grabbing my phone and joining him in the hallway.

He led me through endless corridors in the hospital and to a big, heavy door. He pulled it open and slid a brick into the door jamb. Then, he stepped outside, and I followed him. We were on the roof.

John took off his oxygen mask and took a deep breath, closing his eyes. I just stared at him. I couldn't take my eyes off him. Then, he opened his eyes and saw me staring at him. I dropped my eyes and started blushing.

"I never get to go outside anymore, so when I do, I like to breathe in real air, not this fake crap." He explained, gesturing to his mask.

"That stuff almost tastes different than normal air." I replied, remembering the times I've used them when I was younger. John laughed, and smiled that beautiful smile of his. He walked toward the edge of the roof and looked over the edge.

"Have you ever thought about it?" John asked, turning around to face me. "Jumping? Putting yourself out of the misery of the illness?"

"I have, but not for the reason you may think." I explained. "I was once in this foster home where there were twenty of us, and the foster dad never gave us anything to eat. He just locked us in the basement and starved us. One night, I was so hungry, I thought about it, and I almost did. I mean, I had a knife against my wrist, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it."

"Wow." John gaped, genuinely shocked. "I've thought about it so many times, but I never got that close."

We stood on the roof in silence after that for a few long moments before John involuntarily broke the silence by breaking down into a coughing fit. He put his hand on the wall to try and keep himself from falling. Since he couldn't hold himself up, I ran over to catch him before he hit his head. I grabbed his arm to keep him from falling, then I gently put him down in a sitting position. We both went to reach for his oxygen mask, and when we did, our hands touched. I think we both felt the spark that came with it because we both pulled our hands away, despite John's coughing fit. As John got worse, I grabbed his mask and put it around his head and over his mouth. We sat there for a few minutes, making sure he was ok.

"Thanks for helping me." He said after catching his breath.

"I'm just glad you walked away from the edge before you started to fall." I said, looking into John's eyes. "I don't know where I would be without you."

John then turned beet red, and I dropped my eyes to the ground, feeling myself blushing too.

John pulled off his mask and hung it back on the cart, and we started staring at each other again. I could feel us getting closer and closer until we were just a few inches apart when the door banged open and we jumped away from each other.

"There you two are! I've been worried sick!" Angelica said, stomping over to us. We both got up and started the long descent down the stairs back to the peds floor. We both went back to our separate rooms without a word. Not even a glance.

XXX

John's POV

I went back to my room swooning. Alex and I almost _kissed_. I didn't know if he liked me that way, and I still don't, but now I have a better idea. I just wish this was easier! I hate the whole waiting and wondering thing. It's so annoying.

I spent the rest of the night watching Netflix and trying unsuccessfully to get my mind off Alex. It didn't work.

XXX

The next morning, there was a knock at my door.

"Surprise, mon amie!" Laf said, running into my room and flopping down on the couch, followed by Herc.

"Hey, guys. Long time no see." I said, watching them grab each other's hands and intertwining their fingers. Then Herc put his head in Laf's shoulder. I rolled my eyes.

"What's with you two and the laying all over each other? Some of us would like a break sometimes, you know." I said with fake annoyance. They laughed.

"So, any cute boys on the floor that have, how you say, caught your eye?" Laf asked.

"Well, there is this one.." I trailed off, blushing. Laf jumped up off the couch and sat next to me on my bed.

"Ooh! Ooh! What's his name? What's he like?" He asked, bouncing on the bed like a little girl.

"His name is Alex, and he's in for liver cancer." I explained. Herc made a face.

"Cancer? You really want to deal with cancer?" He asked.

"Herc, I have CF. That's arguably worse." I replied.

"How old is he?" Laf asked, clearly oblivious of his boyfriends' concern.

"He's a junior." I replied.

"Ooh, older men. Fancy." Laf chuckled. I rolled my eyes.

"He's only like two years older than me, Laf. Get over yourself." I replied, rolling my eyes again.

We talked for a while, and Herc and I always tried to steer the conversation away from Alex, but it always seemed to end up there again. Most likely at Laf's doing.


	4. Oxygen Mask

John's POV

The only thing I could think about for the next few days was Alex. Alex, Alex, Alex.

We had talked a little bit since the _incident_ on the roof, but not as much as we had before. And since my coughing fit on the roof, the nurses haven't let me out of their sight, so we haven't had an opportunity to talk about it.

"Can I _please_ get out of this room?" I asked Eliza after being on twenty-four-hour watch for the past three days.

"You can as long as you promise to not leave the peds floor, and _wear your oxygen mask._ " She emphasized, staring me down. I threw my hands up in the air in surrender, and put my oxygen mask on. Seeming satisfied, Eliza smiled and left the room.

"Be back here before evening rounds!" She called before walking out.

"I know, Eliza, I know." I replied.

For the first time in three days, I walked out into the hallway and down to Alex's room. Since the door was closed, I knocked on the door.

"Come in!" He called from inside.

I pulled the door open and saw Alex stretched out on his bed inside, on his laptop.

"Hey." He said.

"Hi..." I replied. I went in and sat down on his bed.

"How have you been?" He asked.

"Well, the nurses have had me on twenty-four-hour surveillance since the roof, so that's been fun." I replied, and we half-heartedly laughed.

"So, about that night..." he started.

"Yeah..." I continued.

We sat there in silence for a few minutes. The tension in the air was so thick, we could practically see it.

"I..." We both started talking at the same time.

"You go ahead." I said.

"No, you." Alex countered. I took a deep breath.

"I like you, Alex, _in that way._ I don't know where this is going, but I would like to find out." I said simply.

Alex's POV

Oh. My. God. John likes me! John. Likes. Me!

 _Speak!_ I thought to myself. I opened my mouth to say something, but I had no words in my head. The one time I had no words.

John started to get up. "It was stupid anyway. Whatever." He started to walk out of the room, and I grabbed his arm.

"No, no. It wasn't stupid. I like you, too." I replied.

"Don't. Don't say that if it's not..." He started.

"John, I do. I really do like you." I replied, looking into his eyes. His eyes lit up.

"Really?" He asked, giddy.

"Really." I smiled.

He grabbed my shirt and pulled me out of the bed, pulling me into a kiss. I was surprised for a moment, then I kissed him back.

We kissed, softly, almost passionately, for about 30 seconds (though it felt like forever), until John pulled away, out of breath. I grabbed the oxygen mask hanging behind my bed and put it over his face, cranking it up to 100 percent. He sat down on my bed, steadying himself, and I sat down next to him. He took the mask off after a few seconds.

"Thanks." He said, smiling weakly at me.

"Anytime. Anytime, John." I replied, smiling sadly back at him.

Eliza and Angelica came running in, probably hearing Johns heavy breathing.

"Is everyone ok?" Angelica asked, looking wildly but calmly around the room.

"We're both fine." I replied, looking over at John who nodded.

"John, why did you lose your breath?" Eliza asked, sitting down next to him.

John and I looked at each other, humor in our eyes. I blinked, as if to ask if I could say something. John nodded, understanding.

"We were, um..." I trailed off, uncomfortable. John blushed beet red, and I, somehow, got even darker. Suddenly, Angelica started laughing.

"Oh my god." She laughed, looking back and forth between us.

"What?" Eliza asked, oblivious.

"We were... um... kissing." John responded, dropping his eyes to the floor, blushing even harder than before.

"I knew it!" Peggy exclaimed, running into the room.

"What the hell, Peggy?" Angelica asked, looking shocked.

"Sorry, I was... well... I don't really have an excuse. I was eavesdropping outside the door." Peggy explained, laughing. We all sat there laughing for a few minutes, trying to take in what had just happened.

"Look," Anglica started after we all calmed down. "we support you boys fully, but if what the doing is causing one of you to get hurt, then you can't do that anymore."

"Ok." I responded, looking over at John, who nodded.

The three nurses stood there awkwardly for a few seconds before taking the hint and walking out of the room. As soon as they did, John and I burst out laughing again.

"Oh my god. I can't believe that just happened." John said, scooting closer to me on the bed. We sat there in a comfortable silence for a little bit, and then I realized our faces were close enough that I could feel John's breath on my face. Our lips touched again, softly, barely touching. We sat there like that for a few seconds, then John pulled back, out of breath again. He grabbed the mask next to him and slipped it over his face again.

"We need to set some ground rules or something to keep that from happening again." I said once he caught his breath.

"Definitely." He coughed.

I grabbed a piece of paper and we sat there for the next hour creating our "rules" until the nurses came and took me to do my chemo.

_ John and Alex's Relationship Rules _

_1\. John must always wear a nasal cannula and have an oxygen mask nearby while kissing_

_2\. Doors must be closed during physical contact_

_3\. It is perfectly acceptable for one to press the nurse call button if the other is having an emergency_

_4\. Every step of the relationship is confirmed as ok before doing it_


	5. French Lessons

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's some pretty complicated French in this chapter, as Herc, Laf, and John are fluent. Since I'm sure most of you are not, I put the translations in parentheses and italics next to the French. If you spot any mistakes, please let me know! I know some, but I'm not even close to fluent. Enjoy!

John's POV

Alex and I were attached at the hip for the next few weeks. I sat with him at his chemo treatments. He sat with me during all my treatments, no matter how gross. And, when we were alone, we made out, if you could call it that. We liked to think it was, but he and I both knew it wasn't. And whose fault was that? Mine. Even with the cannula on my nose, we had to take a break every minute or so so that I could catch my breath.

"Stop." I breathed, grabbing the oxygen mask from next to me on the bed and breathing into it. Alex smiled at me, but it the pity smile I usually get. A real smile. A happy smile.

"Ok, go." I smiled back at him. Our lips crashed into each other again, and he layed down on top of me. His tongue swept at my bottom lip, and I opened my mouth to let him in.

"Surprise, mon amie!" We both heard the door as it opened. We both jumped up as he opened the door, but it was too late. Laf's face went from shocked to confused to delighted.

"Laf, haven't you heard of knocking?" I asked, putting the oxygen mask over my face again.

"Je suis desole, mon amie." He replied, laughing at his own fake apology.

"He is really sorry. Come on, let's go, Laf." Herc said, trying, and failing, to pull Laf out the door.

"Is this the boyfriend?" Laf asked, looking between us.

Alex and I looked awkwardly between each other.

"Uh, we haven't really put a label on it yet." I answered.

"John, don't be rude. Introduce us!" Laf practically squealed.

"Uh, Alex, these are my friends Lafayette and Hercules." I said, pointing to each of them respectfully. "Guys, this is Alexander."

"Il est tres mignon. _(He's really cute)._ " Laf said, and Herc rolled his eyes.

"Laf, arrêtez _(stop)._ " I responded, blushing.

"Quoi, ce n'est pas comme s'il pouvait nous comprendre _(What, it's not like he can understand us)._ " Laf said innocently.

"Je parle couramment couramment. Merci pour le compliment, au fait _(I'm actually fluent. Thanks for the compliment, by the way)_." Alex said calmly.

"You speak French?" I asked him, baffled.

"My mother taught me." He responded.

We looked at each other, confused for a moment, asking silent questions with our eyes.

"Ok, Laf, it's time to go." Herc said, this time successfully pulling Laf out the door.

"Nous serons de retour demain _(we will be back tomorrow)_!" Laf called as he was dragged out the door.

"I'm sorry about them." I said, looking sheepishly at Alex.

"It's fine." He said, smiling warmly. I couldn't help but smile, too. "So... you know French."

"Yeah. I started learning French in school last year, then Laf tutored Herc and I to help us get fluent, and we helped him get fluent in English." I explained.

"Did he grow up here?" Alex asked.

"No, he moved here from France between seventh and eighth grade. His parents died, so he came here to live with other family." I said, remembering the stories Laf told me. "What about you?"

"My mom wanted me to be bilingual, so she taught me French. Her mom taught her, and she wanted to teach me." He said.

"Well, now we can secretly communicate." I laughed.

"No nurses overhearing us." He responded, laughing.

"There is one phrase in French that I don't know..." I said, trailing off.

"What's that?" He asked.

"How do you say 'kiss me'?" I asked, looking in Alexander's eyes.

"Embrasse moi..." He responded. We were silent for a few seconds, leaning in towards each other. He put his hand on the side of my face, looking at my lips. When our lips touched, it was light like feathers. Then I put my arm around Alex's waist and pulled him closer to me, and the kiss got more passionate. He layed down on top of me on the bed, cupping the back of my head in his hand. I ran my hand up the back of his head into his hair. _God_ it was so soft.

Alex moved down and started kissing my jaw, then my neck. I took his free hand in mine and laced our fingers together. I didn't realize how much my lungs were burning until Alex came up for air.

"Mask." I gasped, sitting up. Alex grabbed it from behind him and put it on my face, his fingers brushing my cheek as he held it there. I took a few deep breaths from it before taking the mask from him and grabbing his hand in mine.

"You're taking this so well." I said.

"What?" He asked.

"My illness." I responded. "My ex-boyfriends never handled it as well as you do."

"You're not the only one who's sick you know." He laughed, and I couldn't help but laugh with him. "I get what you're going through. We all have our rough patches. You just so happen to be going through one right now."

"I'm on the transplant list for new lungs. I hope I get some soon. They're just so hard to find." I started. "They're usually inflamed in donors once they have the chance to get them out of the bodies."

"I can't imagine what it's like to be on the list." He sympathized. "Once my mets shrink enough, the doctors are going to remove them. That's hard enough."

I brushed a strand of hair out of his face and smiled at him.

"We're going to get through this." I said.


	6. Bullies of the Peds Floor

Alex's POV

I sat down in my chemo chair and scrolled through my Instagram feed while Peggy hooked up my IV. I tried to keep myself distracted from the fact that poison is about to start flowing into my arm and that I would be puking my guts out later.

"How's John?" Peggy asked, laughing as she finished hooking up my IV.

"Peggy, stop..." I trailed off as I felt my face turn dark red.

"So... how _is_ John?" Thomas Jefferson asked from the chair next to me.

"Ugh, fuck off Thomas." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Sorry, can't." He sneered, holding up his arm to show me his IV.

"Whatever." I said, rolling my eyes and picking up my phone again. When I turned it on, I saw the picture of John I had set as my lock screen and smiled so wide. Then, I heard the door open and looked to see who it was.

"Hey, James." Thomas called from his chair and James basically ran across the room and sat in Thomas's lap and they started making out.

"Ugh, get a room." I groaned, rolling my eyes.

"From what I've heard, you've been getting some, too." Thomas said, taking a break from sucking James's face to speak to me.

"How do you even know who John is?" I asked.

"Gossip travels fast around the peds floor, since there isn't that much to tell." He laughs.

"Not that it's any of your business, Thomas, but John and I haven't done anything like that." I snapped back. Then, the door opened again, and John walked in, pulling his oxygen cart behind him.

"Hey, what's going on?" He said, pulling over a stool to sit next to me. On the opposite side as Thomas, thank god.

"Hey, John." I said, smiling at him.

"So, this is John." James mocked, still sitting on Thomas's lap.

"Yes, he is." I responded defensively.

"H-hello." John stuttered, and he looked at me, question in his eyes.

"John, this is Thomas Jefferson, another cancer patient, and James Madison, his boyfriend." I explained. I'm pretty sure he could tell I didn't like them very much.

"Nice to meet you." He responded civilly.

Then, Peggy comes over and unhooks Thomas's IV from his arm.

"All done for today." She says, glaring at the two of them. They're the most hated patient and visitor on the floor. James got off Thomas's lap, and they walked out, Thomas with his arm around James's waist.

"Who are they?" John leaned over and asked me once they were out of earshot.

"Thomas is another cancer patient who's about a year older than me. He was diagnosed with lung cancer about a year ago, and he's getting chemo for who-cares-what. James is his boyfriend. The two of them are basically feeling each other up all the time." I explained.

"I still don't understand why everyone hates them so much. Everyone was rolling their eyes at them." John asked.

"They're basically two big bullies. Thomas has basically lived here for the past year, so whenever James isn't at school, he's here. They don't have much to do since the peds floor can be boring as hell, so they just bully everyone about everything. They bully me for being bi even though they're both gay. They just find a weakness and poke at it and poke at it until you eventually snap." I went on.

"How long have you known them?" John asked.

"They go to my school, so I've known them for a few years now. They're the same way there, too. They just bully everyone." I finish explaining.

"Wow, Alex. I'm so sorry." John sympathized.

"It's ok." I respond, looking down to pick at my IV. John takes my head in his hands and tilts it up. Then, he puts a soft kiss on my lips and smiles. I smile, too.

XXX

John's POV

After Alex's chemo, I left him in peace in his room since he usually gets violently ill after his treatments. It's not that I wanted to leave him alone, but he prefers that I leave him so I don't see him get sick.

"You know what, I'm over this shit." I said to myself in my empty room. I grabbed my portable oxygen tank and put the cannula around my nose, and walked down the hall to Alex's room. I knocked on the door and opened it without waiting for an answer.

"John, what...?" He asked when I came in. He was laying on his bed, tub in hand.

"I'm not going to just sit in my room twiddling my thumbs while you sit here suffering alone!" I cut him off.

"John, I really don't want you to see me like this." Alex said, almost hurt.

"I don't care." I said, walking over to the bed and sat down next to him. "I want to see you when you're at your best, and at your worst. I know this is new and fragile, but we're both sick, and neither of us are going to get better any time soon. So we just need to get over ourselves and deal with the fact that we're going to see each other like this more often than not."

"You're an amazing boyfriend." Alex said, then covered his mouth, surprised by the words that came out of his mouth.

"Do you say b-boyfriend?" I studdered.

"I'm sorry, I..." Alex said, sitting up in his bed.

"No, no. Don't apologize. I kind of liked it." I smiled, looking at him.

"So, boyfriends then?" Alex asked.

"Boyfriends." I smiled, and Alex pulled me into a passionate kiss.


	7. Jefferson Gets His Ass Handed to Him

John's POV

A few days later, Alex and I found there was one time during the day where neither of us had treatments - right after dinner. Every night, we would get together and watch Netflix on Alex's laptop.

"It's my turn to pick what we watch." Alex complained when I tried to put on Friends.

"Yeah, but you're just gonna pick a documentary or something and I don't feel like watching that." I responded, looking at him.

"How about this. We'll watch a new show that we agree on." Alex suggested.

"Oh no." I sighed, fake rolling my eyes.

"What?" Alex asked, confused.

"Every couple fights over what to watch on TV. I guess we're getting started early." I laughed.

"Oh, stop." Alex laughed, then slung his arm around my waist, pulling me closer, then kissed my cheek.

We looked through Netflix for forty-five minutes, looking for something to watch. We finally settled on Thirteen Reasons Why.

"Are you ready to be depressed?" I asked, looking over at Alex.

"Yeah." He laughed. He placed his laptop the table that rolled over his bed and pulled it closer. He pressed the button on the side of the bed that put it up and moved it to a sitting position. He laid back, and I put my head on his shoulder. Once we were settled in to watch, he pressed play.

XXX

"Wow" Alex breathed after we finished the first episode. "How are we going to watch all thirteen episodes of that?"

"There are two seasons." I pointed out.

"Ugh." Alex threw his head back and groaned, and then we laughed.

"I'll admit, that was pretty hard to watch." I said, sitting up in Alex's arms. Then, there was a knock at the door.

"John, it's time for your meds." Angelica came in.

"How did you know I was in here?" I asked, and she smirked.

"Oh, please. If one of you isn't in your room, all the nurses know to check the other's room. You two are inseparable." She laughed.

"I'll be there in a minute." I said, turning back to Alex. She laughed, rolling her eyes, and closed the door.

"I'll see you later, babe." I said to Alex, initiating a deep kiss. When I pulled away, all too soon, I might add, I got up and walked back down the hall to my room.

I flopped down on my bed and watched Angelica come in with a huge tray full of my nightly meds like a waitress.

"Are you sure you were never a waitress?" I smirked. I asked this every time she gives me my meds.

"I told you, John. I was a grocery store cashier in high school, and a model to get myself through med school. I was never a waitress." She laughed, explaining this to me for the hundredth time.

"How's your husband?" I asked. She and I check up on each other from time to time. This time it's her turn.

"He filed for divorce last night." She said sadly.

"I'm sorry." I sympathized, trying and failing to understand her pain.

"It's ok, John. You have your whole life to experience pain. Right now, find the joys in life." She smiled.

"Ok." I smiled back, and she put a whole bunch of pills for me to swallow in front of me, and hung up and IV bag and connected it to my port in my arm.

She eventually left, and I pulled out my laptop to Skype Alex. He picked up after one ring.

"Hey." I smiled when I saw his face.

"Hey. I missed you." He smiled.

"I literally left your room less than ten minutes ago." I laughed, which made him smile bigger, which made me blush.

"What? I'm not allowed to miss you?" He asked.

"You are." I smiled, feeling all warm inside.

"Can you come back to my room now that you're done with your meds?" He asked.

"Sorry, can't." I lamented as I pointed my laptop screen to my IV port in my arm, then to the bag connected to it. "I'm in here for the night. You can come over here, though." I said hopefully.

"Ok." He smiled so wide. "I'll see you in a second." He ended the call and within ten seconds was in my room, hyperventilating.

"Don't overdo it." I laughed as he walked over to sit next to me on my bed. I scooted over to the right so he could sit right up next to me.

"I'm sorry I'm excited." He said, and we laughed.

He put his arm around my shoulder and we layed back on the bed, and I put my head on his chest. We layed there in a blissful silence for a while, not needing to talk. In those moments, I felt pure happiness.

XXX

Alex's POV

"Yo yo yo! Parties here!" Jefferson called while walking through the hallway of the peds floor, his hand in James's ass.

"Thomas, no one needs to see you and your boyfriend feeling each other up in the hallway. Take it to your room." I snapped, walking down the hallway to my room. John'd fallen asleep, so I slipped out, careful not to wake him. I would've stayed all night, but the nurses would've had my ass if they didn't find me in my room in the morning.

"Oh, please, Alex. We all know you and John are the same way." James taunted.

"At least we do it in private." I defended, walking into my room and slamming the door. Through the door, I could hear Eliza.

"Visiting hours are over, James. It's time to go home." She said sternly.

I looked out the window in my door to see James and Thomas practically making out in the hallway before James turned to leave. Thomas slapped his ass as he left, then turned to go to his room when Eliza grabbed his arm.

"Thomas, this is a peds floor. We have young children here. Please stop with the public displays of _affection_ and keep it in your room. And be mindful of visiting hours, please." She reminded him in a hard voice. He rolled his eyes, and walked back to his room and slammed the door. I had a private moment of satisfaction in Thomas getting yelled at. If only John were here to see this.


	8. Red Dress

John's POV

I woke up the next morning under the covers of my bed, and no Alex. He must've slipped out after I fell asleep last night. He even put my covers over me. He's so sweet. I smiled to myself, thinking about my amazing boyfriend.

I got up off my bed and walked out to the hallway, intending to go to the cafeteria, when I saw Eliza was coming down the hall, holding hands with a woman in a tight red dress.

"You didn't have to walk me in, babe." She said to the woman.

"I want to see where you work, honey." She replied to Eliza.

I slowly backed into my room, closing the door as quietly as possible. I looked through the window in my door and waited till they turned the corner before opening my door and going down the hall to Alex's room. I knocked on the door, but didn't wait for a response to go in.

"Hey." I said, sitting down next to Alex on his bed, which was covered in school books.

"Good morning." He smiled, kissing me.

"Did you know Eliza's gay?" I asked.

"No, I didn't. How do you know?" He asked me, confused.

"I saw her walk in with a woman in a red dress this morning. They were holding hands, and Eliza called her 'babe'." I giddily explained.

"Wow." Alex laughed. "I never would've guessed."

"Me either." I said, laying my head in his lap. He started running his hands through my hair. "Whatcha working on?"

"Oh, just school." He explained. "I got the books at the beginning of the year before I was admitted, and my teachers email me lessons and notes and worksheets and stuff since I can't make it to classes."

"That's a good idea." I said, thoughtful. I was so behind in school that I might not graduate until two years after I was supposed to. "I'm so behind on my schoolwork. I feel like I'll never graduate."

"You'll never know if you don't try." Alex said, turning my head so I was looking up at him.

"Yeah, I guess." I lamented. "I just don't know if I would be able to catch up."

"I could tutor you." He suggested.

"Really?" I asked, surprised. "You would do that for me?"

"Of corse I would." He said sweetly. He leaned down and kissed me. "Email your teachers for assignments, and then we can get started."

"Ok." I responded. "You really don't have to do this, you know." I said after a few moments of silence.

"I would do anything for you." He said seriously, then smiled.

"Do I have to email my teachers now?" I whined, lightening the mood.

"No." He giggled. "We can start tomorrow."

XXX

Alex's POV

I helped John send emails to all of his teachers the next morning, in between make outs, of corse, and we got started as soon as he got work back. We also emailed his guidance counselor, who said he could start freshman year next year if he got caught up on all his eighth grade work by the end of the school year, but I had other plans.

"Why don't we get you caught up on all your freshman work, too, so you can start sophomore year with your friends next year, and you'll only be two years behind me instead of three." I suggested to him after reading the email.

"I don't know..." he responded. "I probably won't be able to finish the last half of a semester of eighth grade work and all my freshman work before the start of next school year."

"Come on, John. Can you at least try? For me?" I begged.

"Fine." He said, grabbing a pillow from next to him on his bed and throwing at me on the couch. "But only because your so cute when you beg."

"I've been told I have a talent for that." I said, getting up off the couch and walking over to sit next to him on the bed.

"Yeah?" He joked, scooting over on the bed.

"Yeah." I laughed, kissing him. We sat there in a long, deep kiss for a few minutes before I pulled away.

"Ok, we would really get started." I said, putting John's computer on my lap. John groaned.

"What?" I asked.

"You killed the mood!" He complained.

"What do you mean?" I asked, suppressing a laugh.

"We were kissing, and it was a really good kiss, and you ruined it with schoolwork!" He said, laughing but annoyed.

"If you want to catch back up to your friends, we need to get started right away." I responded, and he stuck his tongue out at me. Then, there was a knock at the door.

"Good, Alexander, Your here." Eliza said, opening the door. "It's time for your chemo."

"Fine." I said, then looked over at John. "When I finish puking my guts out, we're starting this."

"Ok!" John said, throwing my hands up in surrender. Then I leaned in and gave him a quick kiss on the lips before walking out with Eliza.

"You two are so cute." She said once we were in the hallway and had started walking towards the chemo room.

"A little birdie told me your also cute with someone." I teased.

"I don't know what you mean." She said, blushing deep red.

"Oh come on. Red dress?" I suggested, and her face got even redder.

"You saw me?" She asked, clearly embarrassed.

"No." I said as we walking in the chemo room, and I could see her let out a deep breath she probably didn't even know she was holding. "John saw and told me."

"Oh god." She said while I sat down and she connected me to chemo IV.

"It's ok. Everyone deserves to be happy." I said, and she smiled.


	9. Cupcakes

John's POV

"It's too much, Alex! I can't!" I whined.

"Oh, come on, John. I know you can do it!" He encouraged.

"It's too many cupcakes!" I exclaimed, looking at the plate of uneaten cupcakes in front of me, and feeling my stomach about to burst. Eliza's girlfriend, whose name we found out was Maria, is a professional baker and brought them in for everyone in the peds floor, and Alex thought it would be a good idea to see how many I could eat. He thought, no, thinks, I can eat the whole plate of a dozen. I think he's delusional.

"There's no way! I've already eaten five, and I can't eat anymore!" I complained.

"Come on, John! I can eat way more than five!" Alex exclaimed.

"Yeah, but I'm not you!" I said back, then Alex started laughing.

"What?" I demanded.

"You have frosting on your face." He giggled.

"Ugh." I sighed, and grabbed a napkin and started trying to find the frosting.

"Wait." Alex said, getting in really close. When I thought he was going to wipe it off with his hand, he licked it off my face instead.

"Eww!" I cried and then started laughing.

"That's really good frosting." Alex said, picking up one of the cupcakes next to me.

"Alex, that was so gross!" I exclaimed while laughing.

"What can I say? Your face tastes good." He laughed.

"Ok, we're in borderline psychopath territory here." I laughed, watching Alex lick the frosting off the cupcake he was holding. There was frosting all over his lips.

"There's frosting on your face." I said, and he grabbed a napkin off the table, but I grabbed his wrist before he could put it up to his lips. I leaned in really close, and then started kissing him. I swiped my tongue over his lips to get all the frosting off, then he opened his mouth in invitation. I slipped my tongue in, getting more of the frosting flavor out of his mouth.

"Mmm." I hummed.

"What?" He asked, pulling away.

"You taste like frosting." I smiled, and then we both started laughing.

"So, ready to finish the rest of these cupcakes? I even helped you by eating one." Alex teased.

"If eat even another bite of cupcake, I'll burst." I said, putting my hand on my stomach.

"Ok, then. How about we get some work done, then." He said, getting up grabbing my computer and putting it on the table in front of us, moving the cupcakes to the back.

"So, what courses are you in, specifically?" He asked, going through my school email.

"I have Algebra one, earth science, French one, but that I can pass in my sleep, US history, and generic eight grade English." I explained.

"Ok, so it looks like your science teacher sent you a list of sections of your textbook to read, with a link to the textbook in the email, and told you to take notes on them, then to email him when you have that done so he can send you the tests to take." Alex said, confused. "That's an awful way to teach."

"I know. Every night for homework, he just assigns us a section in the textbook to read and then take notes about, then we just talk about stuff that has nothing to do with the topic in class." I rolled my eyes.

"Ok, so your math teacher sent some notes and worksheets to do and a practice test. He says that he'll email you the test whenever you're ready for it."

"Ok." I responded.

"Next, your English teacher sent you an essay prompt and a few online quiz links." Alex said, reading through the next email.

"Ugh. I hate writing essays." I complained.

"What?" He asked, appalled.

"Just the process of coming up with an idea than putting it in a grammatically correct five-paragraph form makes me want to shoot myself." I whined.

"I love writing essays." Alex said. He seemed confused about why I don't too.

"What's next?" I asked, attempting to change the subject.

"Your history teacher sent you a few powerpoints, notes packets, and links to quizzes to take, and your French teacher said that since she knows your fluent, she just sent links to test PDFs so you can just take them and be done for the course." Alex finished.

"So, how much is that in the end?" I asked, getting a headache just form the notion of all of the things I have to do to pass eighth grade. I finished most of the work when I was in school for a while, but once my CF flare-ups were more often than not, my mom and Dr. Washington decided to keep me in the hospital to keep an eye on me until I got a lung transplant.

"Well, let's make a list." Alex suggested.

In the end, it looked like this -

 _John's Eighth Grade School Work  
_ _Science notes from textbook (4 chapters)  
_ _Math worksheets and test  
_ _English essay and online quizzes_  
History notes and quizzes  
French tests

"Well, that's not as bad as I thought it would be." I said after we finished the list.

"And this is it for the rest of the stuff for eighth grade?" Alex asked, hopeful.

"I think so." I responded.

"Good. Then maybe you can get your freshman work done, too since the school year just started about a month ago." Alex suggested.

"I don't know, Alex. It seems unrealistic. Since I didn't pass eighth grade, I didn't even get assigned teachers or courses for ninth grade. I don't even know the guidance counselor at my high school." I lamented.

"And those are all things we can fix." Alex said, grabbing my hands and holding them. "We can ask your middle school guidance counselor to talk to the one at the high school and get your classes, and teachers, and work to do so you can pass freshman year this year. Who knows. Maybe next year you'll be able to go back to school."

"I hope so." I responded, squeezing Alex's hands. "Everyone always takes school for granted until they can't go anymore. I just wish I had a more normal life, where I didn't live in a hospital."

"Well, you met me in this hospital." Alex said, looking almost hurt.

"And I'm not saying I would ever change that." I said, scooting closer to Alex. "I just want a normal life in school, but I want you in it. Every hour, every minute." Alex smiled, and I kissed him.


	10. Meet the Parents

Alex's POV

"Mmm John." I mumbled as John kissed down my neck and pulled at my shirt collar. John pulled up for air, so I took over and moved down from his jaw to his neck to his collarbone.

"John, we need to... John?" A woman burst into the room and started, but trailed off when she saw us.

"Uh, hi mom." He said, sitting up and scooting away from me on his bed.

"Who's this?" She asked, looking interested, but in the way parents do when they're about to punish their kids.

"Mom, this is my boyfriend, Alexander." John introduced me.

"Nice to meet you, Alexander." She said, coming into the room and shaking my hand.

"Alex." I replied, smiling. I wanted to come off better than the boy her son was making out with to John's mom.

We sat there in an awkward silence for a few seconds before Dr. Washington walked in.

"Ok, are we ready to get started?" He said, then saw me. "Alex if you don't mind..."

"I get it. I'll go. I have chemo anyway." I said, then walked out.

XXX

John's POV

I barely listened to Dr. Washington and my mom while he was updating her on my medical stuff. I know how I am, and I know nothing's changed. I also know that I'm nowhere close to getting a lung transplant.

I also know that I'm about to get my ass handed to me by my mother.

She started her mantra before Dr. Washington even closed the door behind him.

"What the hell are you thinking? It is _not_ a good idea for you to have a boyfriend right now! You need to focus on your health, and your treatments so you can get new lungs! Does he have CF? Because that could kill you, John! Do you hear me? _Kill you!_ "

"Mom, stop." I said, shutting her down. "He doesn't have CF. He had liver cancer. He also makes sure that I take care of myself. We sit together at all of our treatments. He's also tutoring me with all my school stuff so I can get caught back up."

"T-tutoring you?" She stuttered. "How old his he?"

"He's a junior." I mumbled almost inaudibly. She would never approve of me dating a guy who's two years older.

"What?" She asked, getting mad.

"He's a junior." I said again, at a normal volume this time.

"A _what?_ " She asked, appalled. "A junior? What the hell, John?"

"What's wrong with it?" I asked, standing my ground.

"He's so much older, and he's going to distract you." She claimed, then I picked up my phone and started texting.

"Who are you texting?" She demanded.

"The president of the United States." I said sarcastically. "Who do you think I'm texting, mom? I'm texting Alex."

It read, _Can u come back?_

He responded _sure_ then opened the door to my room less than a minute later.

"What's up?" He asked. Seeing my mom and Alex next to each other made me realize that he's taller than my mom, though she's not that tall, which embarrassed me because I'm the same height as her.

"Tell my mom why your such a good boyfriend." I said to him. He came over and sat down on the couch on the other side of the bed from her, and she crossed her arms and gave him a death glare. Then, he finally started talking.

"Ms. Laurens," He started, "I know that your first impression of me is the guy who's making out with your very sick son on his hospital bed, and you probably don't like that guy. But, I just want to tell you that I'm not really that guy. First of all, I've been on the honor roll every year at school since sixth grade, and I've kept my grades up, even through cancer and chemo. I plan on helping tutor your son to help him catch up not only with his eighth grade work, but also his ninth grade work while he's in the hospital so he can be back with his friends when he goes back to school, and, most importantly, I care about your son and his health. I know what it's like to be sick. I've had on and off liver cancer since fourth grade, so I know how it feels. I want you to know that I'm here for your son."

"Ok." She responded, then turned towards the door. "I'll see you tomorrow, John." She said, then walked out the door.

"Oh my god!" I exclaimed when I was sure she was gone. "That was amazing!" He came over and sat next to me on the bed.

"This isn't my first rodeo." He smirked, then leaned in for a long, deep kiss.

"I cannot believe you got my moms approval." I said once he pulled away. "That's really hard to do."

"I like to think it's my natural charm." He said, then we laughed.

"No, seriously. Last time she walked in on me making out with a boyfriend, she was so pissed. She didn't tell me to break up with his or anything, but she never liked him after." I remembered.

"Wow." Alex gaped. "How long were you two together?"

"Only a few months." I said, trying to remember exactly when we got together. "She only knew him for one or two."

"Hey, where was your sister today?" Alex wondered.

"When they were here yesterday, she told me she was going to a friends birthday party." I explained. "It's good she wasn't here today, or my mom would've killed me."

"Well then maybe I can meet her sometime later. And when I'm not attached to your face." I giggled.

"Well, I think it was my collarbone..." I trailed off.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, then kissed my collarbone. "Like this?"

"I think so." I moaned.

"Yeah." He smiled, then we went back to making out. That was a good day.


	11. The PET Scan

Alex's POV

"So, How many treatments do you have left?" John asked, spinning in circles on the spinning stool next to my chemo chair.

"I get another PET scan today after my chemo, then the doctors decide how many more I need before they take them out." I answered.

I looked at John, who had a blank expression on his face. He wasn't sad, but he definitely wasn't happy.

"What's wrong?" I asked.

"I want you to get better, I really do, but I don't want you to leave me here alone." John confessed, blushing when he said the last part.

"John, look at me." I said, and he looked up from the floor to me. "Even if I leave this hospital before you, I won't leave _you._ I'll visit every day, and, for the record, after surgery, it'll take a while for my incisions to heal. I'll be stuck here for a while."

"Well, that makes me feel a little better." John said, giving me a small smile, then frowning again. "I just wish I had an end in sight for getting out of here, you know? At least you know that your cancer will be removed soon, and you'll be able to go home. I don't know when I'll get lungs, if ever. They're really hard to find."

"You'll get them." I said, grabbing his hands. "I'm sure of it."

XXX

"Ok, Alex. Stay very still." Peggy said over the mic into the PET scan room.

"I know the drill, Peggy. It's not like I haven't done this before." I laughed as I started to go into the machine. As I stared up at the ceiling, I wondered if my promise to John had any truth to it. Was it even a promise? Would he ever get lungs? I mean, they were almost always destroyed in the donor body before they could be removed for transplant, so there was no way of knowing. I just hope that someday he'll be able to get out of here. Lung transplants don't last forever, but... I can't stand the thought of him being stuck in the hospital for the rest of his life.

"All done!" Peggy said, walking into the room and effectively pulling me out of my thoughts.

"So, what did you see?" I asked.

"You know I can't give official reports on scans, Alex." Peggy lamented.

"Come on, Peggy. Just tell me what you saw. I won't tell anyone." I begged.

"Ok... fine. But you can't tell anyone I did this." She caved.

"Cross my heart." I said, drawing an X over my heart with my right hand and holding up my left, making Peggy laugh.

"I think the chemo is working. Your mets are a lot smaller than in your last scan." She said, giddy.

"Oh thank god!" I exclaimed, hopping off the machine and running into the scan room. I looked at the scans, and the cancerous cells had shrunk significantly since the last time. Dr. Washington has taught him the basics of reading scans when he was first diagnosed.

"Peggy, what have I said about patients in the booth?" Dr. Washington said as he came into the booth.

"Sorry, Dr. Washington. It's my fault. I just ran in here without permission." I jumped in, defending Peggy.

"Ok, well, since your here, Alex, let's go over your scans now." He said, looking at the computer screen. "Your mets have shrunk significantly since the last scan. I think maybe three more treatments, and you'll be good to go for surgery."

"Really?" I smiled, getting excited.

"Really." He confirmed. "Go tell John. You know you want to."

"Thank you so much!" I said, speedwalking out of the room and back down to the peds floor. When I got to John's room, I pulled open the door without even thinking to knock.

"Guess what?" I asked when I opened the door, but then stopped when I saw Eliza holding a mask to John's face and Angelica adjusting the tubes and wires he was connected to. "What's going on?"

"John had a scare while you were getting your scans." Angelica informed me. I came over to sit next to John, who couldn't seem to catch his breath. I put my arm around his shoulder and pulled him closer to me. We made eye contact, and I could tell he was scared.

"What happened?" I asked, looking up at Eliza.

"He passed out in the hallway. His lung function has dropped to thirty percent." She explained.

"Wasn't it at forty when he came in? I mean, he's only been here about a month or so." I pondered.

"Yes, it is a lot for one month." Angelica lamented. Then, John's mom and sister burst through the door.

"John?" His sister asked, clearly scared. John waved her over, still unable to talk, and she came over and sat in his lap he put his arm around her, using his other hand to grab the mask from Eliza so he could sit with me and his sister at the same time.

"What happened?" His mom asked the nurses, trying and failing to remain calm.

"He passed out in the hallway." Angelica explained again, looking at his chart. "His lung function is now at thirty percent."

"Why?" She asked.

"We're not sure, but for right now, he's been moved to status one-B on the transplant list." Eliza continued. John pulled the mask off his face and smiled at his sister, clearly trying to distract her.

"Alice, do you know who this is?" He asked, gesturing to me.

"No." She responded, shaking her head.

"This is my special friend, Alex." He said to her, smiling at me.

"Nice to meet you, Alice." I smiled at her.

"Hi." She said timidly before turning to John and asking, "Can I color?"

"Of corse." He responded, pulling a coloring book and some crayons out of his nightstand drawer, handing it to her. She walked over the couch and started scribbling all over the pages.

"Special friend?" I mused.

"Yeah," John explained. "She doesn't quite understand what a boyfriend is yet, so I just introduce my boyfriends as special friends."

"Boyfriends?" I asked.

"Well, I only had one before you, but two is plural, so, yes. Boyfriends." He smiled, and it was contagious. I couldn't help but smile, too.


	12. Peace, Love, and Weed

John's POV

Alex and I spent most of the next day laying in my bed watching TV. The nurses warned me to not exert myself, and my mom went the extra mile and said she would have my ass if I didn't spend the next day in bed, so Alex and I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to spend the day together.

"Oh, guess what?" Alex started while we were in between episodes.

"What?" I asked.

"I had my PET scan yesterday, and I only need three more chemo treatments before surgery." He smiled, clearly excited. It brought me pure joy to see him that way.

"That's amazing!" I said, pulling him into a kiss. "Why didn't you tell me yesterday?"

"Well, you were kind of preoccupied." He mused, referring to my scare yesterday.

"I'm so happy for you!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah." He said, suddenly distant.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

"Well, it's just... never mind." He stuttered.

"No, tell me." I said, sitting up and grabbing his hands.

"Well, it's just..." he trailed off, then took a deep breath. "Last time I had surgery, there were unforeseen complications. There were a few days where they didn't know if I was going to wake up or not."

"Do you know what happened?" I asked.

"They said my heart stopped for seven minutes during surgery, and they weren't sure what my brain function would be like when I woke up. It took me a while to get back to where I am now, and I don't want to end up that way again." He explained, clearly afraid of what could happen.

"I promise you, Alex, that I'll be right there by your bedside when you wake up." I said, squeezing his hands. He seemed to feel a little better, but then his face fell again.

"I'm just so scared, John." He said, and a few tears started falling down his face. I pulled him into a hug and let him cry it out.

"It will be ok." I kept whispering to him, hoping that it would make him feel better.

"How can you know that for sure?" He asked, sitting up. His face was blotchy and red.

"We can't." I started. "But I have to believe that they will. It will all go the way it goes, and we just have to hope that it's in our favor." Oddly, that seemed to make him feel better.

"You see, that logic makes sense. 'Everything will be ok' doesn't." He laughed, lightening the mood. "Thank you." He added, serious again.

"Just doing my job." I joked.

"No, I'm serious." He said, sitting up. "You just talked me down from a panic attack. No one has been able to do that since... since my mom."

"Your welcome." I replied, looking deep in his eyes. He was doing the same, almost like he was searching for something.

"I... I..." He stuttered. He seemed like he couldn't decide if he wanted to say something or not.

"You... what?" I asked.

"I love you." He blurted.

"I... I love you, too." I repsonded, pulling him into a kiss. I didn't know I felt it until I said it, but I definitely did feel it.

XXX

Alex's POV

"Yo, bitches!" Thomas said, stumbling into the chemo room, pulling James by his hand. John and I looked up from the movie we were watching on my phone to see what was going on.

"Thomas, there are small children here. Please watch your language." Angelica whispered to him assertively.

"Whatever." He muttered, flopping into the chemo chair next to mine, pulling James into his lap and started sucking his face. Literally, sucking his face.

"Thomas, James is allowed to sit _with_ you, but he's not allowed to sit _on_ you." Angelica said, louder this time.

"You can't tell me what to do!" He slurred. I looked closer at him, and only then did I notice his bloodshot eyes.

"Thomas, are you high?" Angelica whispered, but it didn't matter. The rest of the room was silent, so everyone heard.

"So what if I am?" He slurred again. I could barely understand what he was saying.

"Are you high, too?" Angelica turned to James and demanded. James just dropped his eyes to the floor and nodded.

"Explain to me what you did." She demanded, looking at James, knowing that Thomas wouldn't be able to do anything in his right mind at the moment.

"I snuck some weed in. I only smoked a little bit, but he had a lot." James admitted.

Angelica sighed. "You." She demanded, turning to Thomas. "I'm taking you back to your room to sleep this off. You know how dangerous it is to mix other drugs with your chemo. And you." She turned to James. "You've lost your visitation privileges. Gather your things and leave." She grabbed Thomas by the arm and dragged him to a wheelchair and wheeled him out of the room, and James followed close behind, dragging his feet.

"Oh. My. God." John gaped after the door closed.

"I cannot believe that just happened!" I exclaimed.

We both just sat there, stunned for a moment.

"Have you ever..." He whispered, trailing off.

"Ever what?" I asked.

"Smoked." John finished, blushing.

"No." I responded. "If I ever did, it could've killed me. Chemo mixed with weed is super dangerous."

"Wow." He responded. "Neither have I. My lungs are bad enough. I don't need to make them even worse with weed."

"See, were smart." I laughed, and John and I just exploded laughing. Seeing Thomas get yelled at was probably the best part of my week. Well, second best. Second only to when John and I told each other we loved each other.


	13. Catastrophe and the Cure

John's POV

"And... send!" I exclaimed, hitting the enter button and sending the email to my teacher.

"You did it! I knew you could!" Alex said, pulling him into a hug.

"I didn't think I ever could." I lamented. "But you were right! Now that I've finished all my eighth grade work, I can start my freshman work."

"So you'll let me tutor you?" Alex confirmed.

"Of course! Your gonna need something to do other than being held up in that bed all day after your surgery." I replied, giddy.

"Yeah." He breathed, suddenly distant.

"Alex, are you ok?" I said, putting my hand on his shoulder.

"What? Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm fine." He replied, coming back to reality.

"Are you sure?" I asked. "You don't have to do the surgery if you don't want to, you know."

"But that's the thing, though. I really have no option." He sighed, laying his head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around him and hugged him closer to me. "If I don't, I die. It's as simple as that."

"I'm so sorry, Alex. I wish there was something I could do to help." I whispered, burying my face in his hair. It smelled like shampoo.

"What your doing right now is helping." He said, and I could hear the smile in his voice. "Just you being here for me makes the rest of the world fall away."

We sat there in a comfortable silence for a few moments, until I interrupted it.

"What do you think your life would've been like if you never got sick?" I asked.

"I don't know. I never really thought about it." He said, then paused." After a moment, he continued. "I would probably be the editor for the school newspaper, and looking at colleges with a good English program. What about you?"

"Well, I would still be with my ex." I started. "I would also probably be the track star at my school. I always loved running before I got sick."

"Wow." He started out of the blue.

"What?" I asked.

"Well, it's just that you said you would probably still be with your ex, and your right. If we weren't sick, we never would've met." He explained.

"Hell, we probably wouldn't be the same people we are today without being sick." I pointed out.

"I know I wouldn't be the same person I am today without knowing you." He sat up and smiled.

"Me too." I whispered, and we layed there for a while, in each other's arms. And I couldn't help but smile.

"Thank you." I said, breaking the silence.

"For what?" He asked, shifting so he could look at my face.

"For loving me." I smiled. "It really has made me a better person."

"Me too." He smiled.

Then, I felt a burning pain in my chest. I hunched over, coughing, trying to get air. All I could think was _no, no, no..._ and then it all went black.

XXX

Alex's POV

John hunched over in pain, and he was wheezing like he couldn't get air. I grabbed the oxygen mask from the side of the bed and pressed it to his face, turning it on to full blast. Then I reached for the call button and hit it over and over again until Eliza ran in.

"What happened?" She demanded, running over to him. I got up off the bed and backed into the corner of the room to get out of the way. I tried to speak, but no words came out.

"Alex, What happened?" She almost screamed, turning to me for a second, then turning back around when she saw I was ok.

"We... we were talking, and then he... he just... he couldn't breathe..." I studdered. I sunk down to the floor and pulled my knees close to my chest. I put my hands over my face and felt tears.

"Alex, Alex. Come on. Let's go to your room." I heard Peggy soothe in my ear, putting her hands on my shoulders and trying to pull me up.

"No." I said. "No!" I'm not leaving him!" I stood up and ran to the foot of his bed. Eliza was on the left side of the bed, and Dr. Washington was on the right. They were putting a tube down his throat.

"Why... what are you doing?" I choked.

"We had to intubate him so he could breathe." Peggy consoled, putting her hand on my shoulder. "Alex, please come with me."

"I'm not leaving him! He'll never forgive me if I leave!" I cried.

"Oh, Alex. He will. He'll understand." Peggy whispered in my ear. "Now, come on. We really do have to leave."

The heart rate monitor, which had gone back to normal after they put the tube in, was starting to beep faster again.

"He's waking up." Eliza announced. "John, John. It's Eliza. You're ok. You just need to calm down."

I ran over to his head. When he saw me, his heart rate slowly started to get closer to a normal rate.

"Hey, John." I said, and his eyes smiled, and then they looked confused.

 _What happened?_ Was what he was trying to say.

"You couldn't breathe, and then you blacked out. Dr. Washington had to put a tube in your throat to help you breathe, so you can't talk." I explained.

"Alex, its time for your chemo." Angelica said, walking into the room, and her eyes went wide.

"I'll explain later." Eliza said.

John and I locked eyes, and he put his hand on my chest, right over my heart.

I bent down and whispered, "I love you, too." In his ear. Then, I followed Angelica out of the room.


	14. Whiteboard

John's POV

I looked around the room again from my place on my bed. Since I was going to have a tube in my throat for a while, Dr. Washington decided to take me to surgery to put a tube directly into my throat through my neck. It was really uncomfortable, but at least I could see around it. My movements were very limited since I had to be laying down all the time, and all I could really do was listen to music or watch TV from the crappy monitor hanging on the wall that only got like five channels.

"Hey, John." Alex walked in, smiling, and a huge smile covered my face as soon as I heard his voice. He pulled up a chair and sat down next to me, grabbing my hand, since he wasn't allowed to sit on the bed with me. I grabbed the whiteboard Angelica got for me and wrote _how was chemo?_ On it.

"It was ok." He replied. "I mean, they're pumping chemicals into my body, so how good can it get?"

I erased the whiteboard and wrote _was Thomas there?_

"Yeah. James wasn't, though. That was probably the first time I've seen Thomas without his growth." He laughed, and I smiled.

"I'm sorry I was gone for longer than I said. They're pumping me with the strong stuff this week to get me ready for surgery." He explained. Whenever he could be, Alex was in my room these last three days, since I would be bored out of my mind otherwise.

 _It's cool_ I wrote on the board, then erased it. _One treatment left?_

"Yeah." He smiled. "I'm so ready to be done."

There was a knock at the door, and my mom walked in. I told her to knock whenever she came now so that she wouldn't catch Alex and I doing anything.

"Hello, Ms. Laurens." Alex greeted.

"Hello, Alexander." My mom returned, and I put my hand over Alex's heart. He put his hand over mine in turn, and then left, nodding to my mom.

"Is he keeping you company?" She asked, and I nodded. I grabbed the board and wrote _Alice?_

"I didn't bring her today. I don't want her to see you like this. It could scare her." She lamented, and I nodded sadly. I hadn't seen my sister in a while, and I missed her.

"So, I told Hercules and Lafayette that they should come by later. I figured some time with them would do you good." She suggested, and I nodded. I hadn't seen them in a while, either.

"Hello, Hello." Dr. Washington said as he walked into the room. "How are we doing today?"

"How's the lung watch going?" Mom asked, ignoring the question. I rolled my eyes and gave a thumbs up.

"Well, he's status one-a now that his lung function is at fifteen percent." He updated. "So, it shouldn't be long now. Any day."

I could tell mom wanted to be relieved, but this only stressed her out more. I tuned out Dr. Washington for the rest of the time he was talking. He told me all the same things after my meds this morning. I didn't think I had it in me to hear it again. I knew I was getting worse, and I knew there was absolutely nothing we could do to stop it, outside of a lung transplant.

"Ok, baby. I have to go." My mom said, pulling me out of my daze. "I wish I could stay, but I have to get to work."

I nodded, and my mom left, kissing me on top of my head before she did. Once I heard the clicks of her heels get quiet in the hallway, I grabbed my phone to text Alex. I was just about to hit send when Laf and Herc burst through the door.

"Bonjour!" Laf cried when he burst in, backpack slung over his shoulder. He ran across the room and flopping down on the couch. "Where's the boyfriend?"

I picked up the whiteboard and wrote _in his room_ on it and held it up. Laf seemed confused.

"You can't talk?" He asked, and Herc, who had sat next to him, punched him in the arm and muttered something in his ear. Then Laf said, "What? It's a valid question!"

I wrote _tube is blocking vocal cords_ on the board, and held it up. Once I was sure they had both read it, I erased it and wrote _it is a valid question_ on the board and held it up, smirking.

"See?" Laf said, punching Herc in the arm.

"I apologize for Lafayette's offensive questions." Herc laughed.

As Laf and Herc carried on with their conversation, I picked up my phone and wrote _Laf and Herc are here and I'm a major 3rd wheel right now if u want to come and join us_ to Alex, then sent it. Within a few minutes, he walked in.

"Bonjour, Alex!" Laf said when he walked in the room.

"Salut _(hi)_." Alex replied, sitting down in the chair next to my bed and grabbing my hand.

Laf and Herc continued to talk in hushed tones on the couch, and Alex leaned over and whispered to me.

"Are they always like this?" He asked, and I grabbed the board.

 _Sometimes_ I wrote, smirking.

"So, we have a surprise for you." Laf said, and Herc punched him in the shoulder.

"Really, Laf? This again?" Herc sighed.

"What?" Alex asked on my behalf.

"We're throwing you a surprise birthday party!" Laf exclaimed before Herc could stop him.

"What? When's your birthday?" Alex asked.

I grabbed the board and wrote _October 28_ and held it up, looking at Laf, confused.

"Why are you doing this now if his birthday is in October?" Alex asked, echoing my thoughts.

"It's better to start planning now!" Laf exclaimed, pulling a binder out of his backpack with the title _John's EPIC Surprise Party_ on the front.

"Oh god." Alex leaned over to me and whispered, and I nodded. But, I couldn't help but think, _I have the best friends ever._


	15. Something to Talk About

Alex's POV

We sat in John's room for hours while Laf went through his party binder. We were almost halfway through when Eliza came in and informed us visiting hours were over. It took all my strength to not scream "Yes!" right then and there. But, I did let out a small sigh of relief, which no one but John noticed. He shot me a small smirk.

 _Good to see u_ John wrote on the board as they left.

"Au revoir! We will be back tomorrow to finish going through the binder!" Laf said, packing up.

"Can I tell them they can't visit tomorrow?" I whispered to John, and he nodded furiously. Apparently, he wanted a break, too.

"Actually, John has treatments and tests all day tomorrow." I lied.

"Oh, well. Ok." Laf lamented. "Text us when we can come back, mon amie."

John managed a smile while Laf walked out.

"I'm sorry." Herc mouthed before running out behind his boyfriend.

"Thank god that's over." I sighed as soon as they were out of earshot. John nodded. "Though, I do admit that your friend has some good ideas."

He grabbed his whiteboard and scribbled _ur friend?_ in his charmingly messy handwriting.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

He wrote _u said ur friend. Arnt they ur friends too?_ In small letters to fit it all on the board.

"Well, I don't know them very well." I started, "but they could become my friends when I get to know them." This made John smile.

Peggy knocked on the door and came in, holding a clipboard.

"Alexander, can you come back to your room? Dr. Washington wants to give you a rundown of your surgery." She said.

"Can we do it in here? I want John to hear it, too." I asked.

Peggy sighed. "Let me ask Dr. Washington."

She walked out of the room, and John wrote _thanks_ on the board. I knew it would make both of feel better if we both knew what was going on.

Dr. Washington and Peggy walked back in and closed the door behind them.

"Hello, Alex, John." He greeted.

"Hi, Dr. Washington." I replied, and John waved.

"How are you feeling today, John?" He asked, and John gave a thumbs up, which made him chuckle.

"So, Alex. I want to give you a rundown of your surgery so we can be ready for it in three days." Dr. Washington said.

"Three days?" I gulped, and John reached out and grabbed my hand.

"Yes. After your next chemo in two days, we're going to do it the next day." He explained.

"O-ok." I studdered.

"So, I'm going to make an incision right here," he said, walking over to me and drawing a line with his finger over the lower part of my stomach. "And I'll cut through your liver to get the mets out. It should be about a five to seven hour surgery, then we'll put you in the PICU for about a week."

 _Week?_ John wrote on the board.

"Yes, John. With cancer patients, we like to keep a close eye on them for longer, and not to mention that Alex is a high-risk patient." Dr. Washington explained. "Any more question?"

"No, I think we're good." I responded, and looked at John, who shook his head.

"Ok, then. I'll see you in three days, Alex." He smiled, and walked out of the room, with Peggy in tow.

 _It'll be ok_ John wrote on his board, and I nodded, reassuring myself. It will all be ok.

XXX

John's POV

"Sally Hawkins? _Sally Hawkins?_ " I heard James yelled down the hallway after Thomas through my open door.

"I don't know what you mean." Thomas said, stopping and standing outside the window in my room to the hall.

"You cheated on me with _Sally Hawkins_? She's a slut, Thomas! A goddamn whore!" James screamed.

"Oh, please. Like you haven't cheated on me." Thomas sighed.

"No, I haven't!" James yelled. "I never have, and never would. Especially not with some skank." He said, quieter.

"Sally is no skank." Thomas said.

"You're defending her? _You're defending her?!_ " James screamed. "You know what? Even if she's not a skank, you are. We're over."

James turned around and walked out, and Thomas ran to his room, presumably holding back tears.

I grabbed my phone to text Alex. I typed _omg did u just hear that?_

 _Yeah. I think the whole hospital did_ He responded right away. _I'm surprised one of the nurses didn't break it up._

 _Uh huh_ I sent. _I saw the whole thing. It went down right outside my window. Thomas was on the verge of tears when the whole thing ended_

 _Wow._ Alex texted back. _I would've paid good money to see that_

 _It was gold_ I sent. _I'm shocked Thomas cheated_

 _I'm not_ He said. _He's the cheating type_

 _Type?_ I asked.

 _Yeah. Some guys, or girls, I guess, are just the kind of people who cheat. They just have that quality about them_ He explained.

 _Do you think I have that quality?_ I joked.

 _Definitely not_ He sent with a smiley face emoji, and I sent the same emoji back.

 _Gtg. Homework. I'll come by later. Luv u_ He sent.

 _Luv u_ I sent back, and put my phone down. I opened my computer and sent an email to each of my new teachers, asking for assignments to get caught up. Even if I had a tube going down my throat through a slit in my neck, I could still get caught up on school work.


	16. Ten Nine Eight Seven

Alex's POV

_I'll be there when you wake up. Promise_ John wrote on his board. This was what we always agreed to. We'd be there when the other woke up. But now... he and I both know there's no way for him to be there. It's just nice to know someone's here, rooting for me, since I have no family that is.

"Ok." I said, kissing his hand. "I'll be expecting you."

Angelica came in the room a few moments later. She said, "Alex, we need to prep you for surgery now."

"Ok." I replied. "Just give me a minute."

Angelica nodded and left closing the door behind her. Once she left, I started talking.

"John, I have no words to express how much I love you." I started, and he shook his head. He grabbed the whiteboard to write something, but I just kept talking. "These last few months have been the best of my life. I love you so much, John. I.."

He put his hand over my mouth, and held up the board. It said _this isn't goodbye_. Tears were streaming down his face.

"John. I'll see you on the other side." I smiled sadly, and I leaned in and we shared a deep, passionate kiss. A kiss I will never forget.

When we pulled away, he put his hand on my chest, right over my heart. I did the same. Then I walked towards the door, not breaking eye contact with him until I left the room. Once I was out, I started to feel tears streaming down my face. I wiped them away.

I walked down the hall and back to my room, laying down on my bed and putting on the surgical cap and gown, while nurses rushed around me and pushed medications and stuff in my IV. Then they wheeled me out of the room, and down the hallway towards John's room, and the surgical wing. As we passed John's window, we locked eyes. We stayed that ways for as long as we could.

The rest of the trip was a blur. I know we went up the elevator, and through many hallways, then we passed the big red line into the OR ward, and into the actual OR.

"Ok, Alex. Are we ready?" Dr. Washington came in and said.

"Yeah." I breathed.

"Don't worry, Alex. It will be ok." Dr. Washington smiled under his mask.

He nodded to the doctor behind him, who put a mask over my face.

"Ok, Alex. Count back from ten for me." A nurse said.

I started counting, "Ten... nine... eight... seven..."

XXX

John's POV

I layed in my bed, wiping away tears as I thought about Alex in surgery.

Suddenly, my mom burst through the door.

I grabbed the board and wrote, _Mom? What r u doing here?_

"Let's wait for a nurse, honey." She said, sitting down in the chair usually reserved for Alex. Tears started streaming down my face again.

"What's wrong, honey?" She asked.

 _Alex is in surgery._ I wrote on the board.

"Oh, sweetie. He'll be ok." She smiled when Eliza burst into the room.

"Oh good, your here." Eliza smiled when she saw my mom.

 _What aren't u telling me?_ I wrote on the board and held it up.

"John, we have a pair of lungs for you." Eliza smiled. "We need to take you into surgery right away."

I shook my head wildly.

"What's wrong, honey? This is what we've been for!" My mom said.

 _I can't until Alex wakes up._ I wrote on the board, held it up, then erased it and wrote, _I promised I would be there when he woke up._

"John, if we don't do this now, the lungs will die, and then you'll have to wait for another pair, and you know how hard they are to find." Eliza explained.

 _No_ I wrote on the board. _I can't. I won't._

"You can, and you will." My mom said.

I shook my head.

"John, this is what you've been waiting for for forever. Don't throw this away over a boy." My mom said to me, grabbing my hands.

"Alex would want you to. You know he would." Eliza said, and, much to my dismay, she was right. I know him, and I know he wouldn't want me to throw my life away for him. We love each other too much to do that.

I nodded, consenting to the surgery, and Eliza walked out, and came back in with a cart full of medications and other surgical materials. My mom left the room while Eliza put my cap and gown on. She came back in while they pumped me full of pre-op drugs, and kissed me on the head before they wheeled me out of the room.

"I'll be here when you wake up, promise." She said, and I started to cry. That's what I promised Alex, and now it's not going to happen.

They wheeled me into the elevator, and pressed the button to go to the OR floor. The ride felt like an eternity. Once we finally got out, they wheeled me to the OR, and a doctor walked in.

"Hello, John." She said. "I'll be doing your transplant today."

I felt around for the whiteboard, but they didn't bring it up with us, so I grabbed Eliza's arm before she walked out.

"Dr. Washington is in Alex's surgery. Dr. Stark will be doing your transplant." She explained, then smiled at me and walked out.

"Ok, John. I need you to count back from ten on your fingers, ok?" A doctor behind me said, switching the tube connected to my fake windpipe to another one.

I held up my fingers. _Ten... nine... eight... seven..._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, I know I'm not usually one for notes, but I just had to say that editing this chapter made me cry. I wrote this a few months ago, and I forgot how sad their goodbyes were.


	17. Love and War

John's POV

I woke up to hear a constant beeping. I opened my eyes, and the lights were too bright. I brought my hand up to cover the light to keep it from getting in my eyes.

"Hey, baby boy." My mom said, sitting on my right side.

I reached up to feel for the tube in my throat, but all I felt was a bandage.

"Water." I croaked out, and mom handed me a cup with a straw. After downing the entire thing, Eliza came into the room.

"Hello, John." She smiled, checking various screens and tubes around my bed. "Your transplant went seamlessly, and you've showed no signs of rejection so far. We're all very hopeful. And we expect to move you out of the ICU in a day or two."

"Alex?" I asked, and her face fell for a second, but I caught a glimpse of her frown before she plastered a smile back on her face.

"He... he hasn't woken up yet." She admitted.

"When can I see him?" I asked.

"I'll have to ask Dr. Washington." She replied.

"Is he stable?" I asked.

"Yes, he's fine. His surgery went well. He just hasn't woken up yet." She explained.

"Ok." I sighed.

"Honey... I really think you should be focusing on you right now?" My mom said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, you're so focused on Alexander, and you're not focused on your own health and recovery." She said, and I saw Eliza, who was standing behind my mom, grimace. She knows my mom hit a nerve in me.

"Mom, Alex is my boyfriend, and I love him. Of corse, I'm concerned about him. I mean, look at me. I'm fine. I'm awake. I'm healthy. Alex hasn't even woken up yet, and he's a high-risk surgical patient. It's not me I'm concerned about right now!" I said, raising my voice near the end.

"Sweetheart, you're a teenager. You don't really know what love is." She said, trying and failing to calm me down. All she did was make me angrier.

"Well, you would know that what he and I have is love if you ever took the time to get to know him!" I exclaimed, holding back tears.

"John, that's not fair..." She started.

"Just go." I demanded.

"I'm not leaving, John." She said.

"Mom, I said go!" I exclaimed, and she got up, grabbed her purse, and stomped out like a toddler. As soon as I knew she was gone, I let the tears fell down my face.

"John, are you ok?" Eliza asked, walking over to me and putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Yeah." I choked out, wiping tears off my face.

Then Eliza suggested, "Do you want to see Alex?"

I smiled and nodded, suddenly in a much better mood. She helped me move from my bed to a wheelchair. It hurt like hell since I had just had surgery the day before, but I knew it would all be worth it when I got to see Alex.

As she was wheeling me down the hall to the cancer wing of the PICU, she said, "I'm not really supposed to be doing this, so keep it down, ok?"

"Ok." I said as we turned the corner into his room.

Alex was laying down in his bed, eyes shut. He had a tube in his throat, and was connected to heart monitor leads and, an IV, and a few other tubes and wires.

"How come I woke up so fast, and he's like this?" I asked.

"Well, his body was already weak from the chemo and the cancer, so the surgery took more of a toll on him, and he has a history of reacting badly with the medicine we use to put him to sleep." She explained.

"Then why do you still use it?" I asked.

"It's the only way to do the surgery." She said. "Do you want to hold his hand?"

"Yeah." I said, grateful for the change of subject.

She wheeled me up right next to him, and I grabbed his hand. It was colder than usual, and paler.

"Can I... have a minute alone with him?" I asked, and Eliza smiled and nodded.

"I'll give you five minutes, but then I need to bring you back to your room." She stated, then walked out.

"Hey." I said to him. "I know you probably can't hear me. I mean, I didn't hear anything while I was asleep. But everyone is different, I guess. Anyway, I just wanted you to know that I'm here for you. I'll visit you every day here until you wake up. Because I know you _will_ wake up. You know how I know? Because you're strong. You have kicked cancer's ass for years. So this is nothing! I know you will pull through. And I love you." I continued, kissing his hand. "I just want you to know that. I love you, and I will be here for you for as long as it takes for you to get better." I kissed his hand again.

"Ok, John. It's time to go." Eliza said, walking into the room.

"Already?" I asked. She came around and started wheeling me back towards my room.

"Can I say something? About your mom?" She asked.

"Sure." I said.

"I'm not saying she's right about Alex, because I don't think she is, but she just wants what's best for you. Even if what she thinks is best isn't really what's best, because being in a healthy relationship can sometimes help someone get better faster, all she's trying to do is help you, because she loves you." She said.

"Yeah, I guess." I lamented. "Do you think I should call her and apologize?"

"Yeah, but not today." She suggested. "Give her some time to calm down. I've been on the wrong side of your mom's rage. It's not pretty."

"When was that?" I asked.

"When I was new here, I gave you your meds once ten minutes late, because I got lost, by the way, and she got so mad at me." She giggled.

"Yeah, she can get pretty bad." I smiled.

I know my mom didn't like me and Alex, but nothing was going to stop me from being with him. I loved him, and that wasn't going to change any time soon.


	18. Losing My Mind

John's POV

"So, I've been keeping up my studies." I said, holding Alex's hand. "I don't want to fall behind just because you're... like this."

It had been five days since Alex had gotten out of surgery, and so far, nothing had changed. His vitals hadn't budged, and he showed no signs of waking up. But I still sat with him. All day. Every day.

"Oh, and I was talking to Angelica yesterday." I started. "Her divorce with her husband was finalized a week ago. I mean, she's happy, actually. She said she's glad she's finally free of him." I informed him. "And... um... I had a fight with my mom the other day. About us. I know... I've waited a while to tell you, but... I just didn't want to add any more stress to your plate, but... I just needed to get it off my chest. She said that I should focus more on my recovery and stop worrying about you. I told her off, of course. I yelled at her and kicked her out, but... she hasn't been back since. I mean, yeah, I'm mad at her. But... she's my mom, you know? I miss her..."

Peggy walked in and I trailed off. She said, "Hey, John. ICU visiting hours are over."

"Ok." I replied. I kissed Alex's forehead and walked out and down the hall back to my room. I had been moved back to a regular room three days ago. I was really nice to be back in my regular room, but it was strange to be there without Alex. When I moved back in, the chair that Alex put next to my bed was still there, and I almost broke out in tears right then and there.

When I got back to my room, I turned on my computer with the intent of doing some school work, but when the picture of Alex and I that I set as my background popped up, my eyes started watering.

"Hey, John. It's time for your incision check." Eliza said, walking in. "Hey, are you ok?"

"Yeah." I said, wiping the tears away from my face.

"Are you in pain?" She asked, putting on a pair of gloves and walking over to me.

"No, no. I'm fine." I answered, closing my computer.

"Come on, John. You have to tell me if you're in pain." She reprimanded.

"No, it's not that." I said, holding back tears. "It's Alex."

"Oh, honey." She said, sitting down next to me on my bed. "I'm so sorry."

"It's just that I don't know if he's ever going to wake up." I cried.

"John, Alex is strong." She explained. "This isn't his first surgery, and this isn't the first time he hasn't woken up right away. We aren't worried because we know he'll wake up, and you shouldn't be either. He'll be ok, John."

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Well, I'm not going to lie to you. We can never be one hundred percent sure he's going to wake up. But, all signs point to yes." She explained.

"Ok." I said, wiping the last tears off my face and smiling. "Thank you."

"Of course." She smiled, standing up. "But now I really do have to check your incision."

"Ok." I smiled.

XXX

"John!" Alice ran in and exclaimed, jumping on my bed, closely followed by my mom.

"Hey, Alice!" I hugged her. "I feel like I haven't seen you in forever."

"Alice, be careful with John. He's still in pain." My mom said.

"Hello, mom." I said respectfully.

"Hello." She said curtly.

"I drew this for you, John!" Alice said, holding up a picture.

"It's so pretty, sweetie. What is it?" I asked.

"It's a mermaid!" She explained, pointing out the tail and the hair.

"I love it." I said, kissing the top of her head and putting her drawing on my bedside table.

"What's this?" She asked, pointing to the big, bulky white bandage on my throat.

"It's one of the places they had to cut into me for surgery." I explained.

"Oh." She responded, then got off my bed. "I have to go potty."

"Ok." I responded, and she went off to the bathroom.

"Look, John, I..." My mom started, but I cut her off.

"Mom, you don't have to. It's ok." I said curtly.

"No, John. It's not." She started. "What I said was wrong. It wasn't ok for me to say the things I did, and I'm so sorry for it. And I promise I'll try and get to know Alexander... Alex... Can I hug you?"

"Yeah." I sighed, and she leaned in to hug me. I grimaced.

"What's wrong?" She asked, pulling away.

"You were squeezing my incision." I giggled, and she burst out laughing.

"Are we ok?" She asked.

"Yeah. We are." I smiled.

"John! John!" Peggy panted, bursting into the room.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's Alex! They just extubated him, and they think he's waking up!" She exclaimed, and I got up off my bed and ran out of my room.

XXX

Alex's POV

The steady beeping of a heart rate monitor and the muffled voices woke me.

"Mm." I groaned, and I felt sore all over. I didn't dare move, in fear of feeling any more pain.

"Are you sure he's waking up?" I heard someone say. It sounded like John. Wait... John?

"Yes... look!" A female voice said, and I finally opened my eyes.

"Alex... Alex?" John said, his face coming into view.

"John." I smiled.


	19. Where Do We Go From Here

Alex's POV

"Hey, Alex." John smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty." I croaked out, and Peggy came over to the other side of my bed and handed me a cup of water with a straw. I tried to sit up to take a sip, but I was too sore.

John took the cup from me and held it up to my mouth, and I downed the entire thing in a few gulps.

"How long was I out?" I asked.

"A week." John answered, grabbing my hand. "I was so worried about you."

"You're better." I realized, looking at the bandage on John's neck. "How?"

"Right after you went into surgery, the hospital found a pair of lungs for me. They took me into surgery, and I woke up right away after my surgery, and it went perfectly." He explained, his smile getting bigger and bigger as he went on.

"So you're better?" I asked.

"Yes. I am." He smiled. "And so are you. Right?" He said, turning to Peggy.

She was standing at the side of my bed, fiddling with the various tubes and wires and machines I was connected to.

"Yes, it seems so." She smiled. "I'm going to have to get Dr. Washington in here for an official evaluation, but, yes. It seems your better, Alex."

"Yay." I smiled, and John stood up and kissed my forehead.

"What was that?" I asked. "I'm ok. The least you can do is kiss me on the lips."

"I'll leave you two alone." Peggy giggled as she walked out, and John bent down and kissed me on the lips.

"I'm so glad you're ok." He whispered.

"Me too." I smiled, touching the bandage on his neck. "Does it hurt?"

"Not really." He replied. "It's sore, but it's a lot better now than it was when I woke up."

"Good." I smiled.

"Hello, Alex." Dr. Washington smiled as he walked in. "How are you feeling?"

"Pretty good." I replied, still looking at John.

"That's great." He replied, coming over to the side of my bed to check my incision. He looked over it and smiled. "All looks good here, but I will need to take a PET scan just to check for success after the surgery."

"Alright." I replied.

"John, that means you need to go back to your room for a while." The doctor turned to him and said.

"Ok." John said reluctantly. He gave me a peck on the lips, then walked out of the room, stealing one more glance of me and smiling before disappearing into the hall.

XXX

"So, we have your scans back." Dr. Washington said, pulling something up on a computer.

After my scan, John had come back to my room and was sitting on my bed next to me.

"So...?" I asked.

"It's not official yet, we need a few more scans and blood tests, but..." he started.

"But...?" I asked, getting really excited.

"It looks like your cancer free." He smiled.

"They got the damn cancer." I smiled, turning to John.

"They got the damn cancer." He repeated, kissing me.

"So, when can I get out of the ICU?" I asked, turning back to Dr. Washington.

"I want to keep you here for one more night for close observation, but if there's no complications, you should be able to be back in your regular room tomorrow." He explained.

"Yay." John said. "Now we can visit each other every day."

"Actually, I wanted to talk to you boys about that." Dr. Washington started.

"What is it?" I asked, concerned.

"You two will both be able to be discharged within a week." He smiled, and I turned to John, who was beaming ear to ear. "I'll leave you two alone." He finished.

"Wait." I said, turning to John. "I don't even know where you live."

"Oh my god." He responded, shocked.

"How far do you live from here?" I asked.

"I live downtown." He responded. "About twenty minutes from here."

"I live a half an hour uptown." I said.

John pulled out his phone and opened a map app.

"What's your address?" He asked.

"108 Evergreen Street." I responded, and he plugged it into his map, along with his address. He showed it up to me, and it said forty minutes.

"Forty minutes between our houses?" I asked.

"Yeah." He lamented.

"Well, I'm gonna spend a lot of money on gas then, because I'm going to have to see you all the time." I smiled.

"You have your license? And a car?" He asked, dumbfounded.

"Yeah." I responded. "I got it last year. Though, I haven't had much of a chance to use with cancer getting in the way."

"Yeah, probably not." John smiled.

"I'm gonna miss this." I whispered.

"Miss what?" John asked, grabbing my hand.

"Seeing you every day. When we get home, we'll both have school, and homework, and extracurriculars..." I said.

"Well, school is almost over." He started. "And, yeah, I'll be doing summer school to get caught up, but I'm going to need a tutor."

"Yeah, I guess." I said.

"And we're going to go on dates. Real dates. Not just ice cream runs to the cafeteria." He smiled. "We'll go to the movies, and to restaurants, and to parks... we can be a regular couple."

"That's true." I said, my mood getting better. "But, we go to different schools."

"That's ok. It's not like we live across the country. It's just a forty minute drive." He consoled. "Everything will be ok. It has to be ok, because I can't imagine my life without you, Alex. You've changed my life forever, and there's no way I could live without you."

"Really?" I asked.

"Definitely." He said, putting his hand on my cheek. "We will work it out." Then he pulled me into a kiss.

"Are you ok?" He smiled when he pulled away.

"Yeah." I smiled. "I'm ok." Then he pulled me into another kiss.


	20. Epilouge

John's POV

"Happy Birthday dear John, happy birthday to you!" My friends and family singsonged around me. When they finished, I blew out my candles. Alex, who was sitting next to me with his arms around my shoulders, squeezed my shoulders affectionately and smiled.

"What did you wish for?" He whispered in my ear.

"I can't tell you! Then it won't come true!" I whispered back.

"Smile!" Laf called, running up to Alex and I with his phone held up and Herc in tow.

"Laf, come on." I complained after smiling obediently for the picture. "Do we really need to document everything that happens at this party?"

"We worked for months on this! I need pictures!" He exclaimed, taking another one and running off back to his seat.

"Who wants cake?" My mom called down the table, standing up now that Laf's photo-op was over. My mom was officially running this party, but we all knew Laf was in charge.

My mom cut the cake, chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, per my request, and started placing plates in front of every one of my guests. Laf invited practically half of the sophomore class, as well as Dr. Washington and his wife, Peggy, Angelica, Eliza, and her girlfriend. It was just a little overboard.

"Happy birthday, big brother!" Alice called, running up to me and jumping into my lap.

"Alice, be careful with John. His body is fragile." My mom reprimanded.

"Mom, I had surgery in June. It's October now. If my incision hasn't healed by now, it never will." I complained.

"Oh, fine." She fake rolled her eyes, then continued serving the cake down the table.

Alice ate her cake on my lap, then as soon as she was finished, she hopped off to go play with my mom's phone.

I watched Alex pull his phone out of his back pocket and pulled up Instagram, and the started dumbfounded at the first picture that popped up.

"Oh my god." I said. Looking at the photo of Thomas and James kissing.

"I know." Alex replied, just as shocked as I was.

"I was sure they weren't going to get back together after Thomas cheated." I said.

"Me too." I said, putting my hand over my mouth in shock. Alex put his phone away when he saw my mother coming over.

"So, hows school, Alex?" She asked, sitting down, finally getting to enjoy a slice of cake after serving everyone.

"Well, senior year is kicking my butt, but it's nice to be in regular classes again. Teaching myself from a hospital bed isn't exactly ideal." He explained.

My mom has made an attempt to get to know Alex after he woke up, and actually turned out to like him, which I knew she would. It's a lot easier to be in a relationship when your parents like who your dating.

"I'm sure John understands that plenty, though you were an excellent tutor." She praised. "He would never have gotten caught up without you."

"Mom, stop." I scolded.

I tuned out the rest of their conversation, though Alex seemed to be having a good time, and instead focusing my attention on my cake. It was really good cake.

Finally, my mom got up and walked away, probably going to get briefed by Laf for the part of the party.

"I like your mom." Alex said, throwing his hand lazily around my waist.

"So you've said." I responded, leaning into him.

Alex was about to say something else, but Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy walked up together.

"Happy birthday, John." Angelica said, putting her hand on my shoulder.

"Thanks." I smiled. "And Thank you so much for coming."

"Of course!" Peggy squealed. "This is so much fun!"

"How are you boys feeling?" Eliza asked, looking ya over.

"We're not your patients anymore, Eliza." Alex teased.

"A nurses work is never done." She stated.

"So, Eliza. How's your sexy girlfriend." I asked, waggling my eyebrows.

"She's great, thank you very much." She replied, crossing her arms over her chest. "She's moving in with me next week."

"Aww! Congratulations!" Alex smiled.

"How are you, Angelica? How's the single ladies life?" I asked.

"Good. I'm happy. I'm finally free." She sighed.

"What about you, Peggy. Any men or women in your future?" Alex asked.

"Men." She replied, "and no. Not at the moment."

Laf ran up again, this time a clipboard in his hands.

"It's time to make your rounds!" Laf exclaimed, then running off, which made all three nurses giggle.

"He's a funny one." Peggy said, then the nurses walked away, each saying their respective goodbyes to Alex and I.

Alex and I went up and down the long table Laf set up in my living room, talking to all of my classmates that Laf invited, and introducing them all to Alex. It was good that I did because I'm pretty sure they were starting to believe he wasn't real since they never met him.

After everyone had finally left, Laf and Herc ran up to me to say goodbye. Well, Laf ran, and Herc walked.

"Thank you so much for this Laf." I smiled.

"Your welcome." He replied.

"I hope with all the running around and planning you still had fun." I said.

"I did." Herc replied. "I'm not sure about this one, though." He pointed to his boyfriend.

"I had a lot of fun!" He exclaimed, then whispered something in French in Herc ear, which made them both laugh, and they waved goodbye and walked out.

I looked around the living room, and everyone was gone. Alex put his arms around my waist and pulled me to face him.

"Did you have fun?" He asked.

"Yeah. It was overwhelming, but I had a lot of fun." I said.

"Happy birthday, babe." He said, and I smiled, then he pulled me into a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed Complications! I know I had a lot of fun writing/editing it!
> 
> Comments and Kudos are always appreciated!
> 
> Kisses! 
> 
> Love, Lilluv


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